I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
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you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
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So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
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