i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
