Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Randomize
