Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
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Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
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Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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