is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
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