i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
