i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
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