you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
My bed smells like the plague
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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