sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
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