Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize