I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
