she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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