we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
