I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
