If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
