BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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