We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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