I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
We had sex on a dog bed..
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
