hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
