just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I look better un-naked...
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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