Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Randomize
