I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
