U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I want a musical about memes.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
