I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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