Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
