she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Randomize
