My hand turned me down
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
If I die, sorry about rent.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Randomize
