My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You pole danced in your parka.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
