I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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