also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
