He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
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official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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