Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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