Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
And then my night got REAL pukey
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
