And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
