you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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