Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Randomize
