Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Randomize
