no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Bring me that man meat
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
