Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize