I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
So gin and wine won't be happening again
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
