My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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