I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
