People with herpes should wear stickers.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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