my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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