I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
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