We won't sleep together?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
