I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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