soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
