Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Randomize
