Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
