I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
