come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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