She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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