ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
This is the high leading the old right now
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
