Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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