new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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