they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Randomize
