I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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