she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
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