just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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