I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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