He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
