Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
