I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
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